OK, i felt like an idiot last nite. Liza and i seemed to talk almost every nite, so when i didn't talk to her at all sunday or monday, i got a little worried. We talked Saturday nite for like an hour or so, but didn't talk again til last nite. I felt like such a parent, cuz i text messaged her like a million times. I hope she didn't think that i was being overzealous or overprotective or something- i trust her. But it was just weird because i got used to talking to her almost every night. It's alright; we made up for it last nite with a 3 hour talk. It just felt comforting to hear her voice. Absence does make the heart grow fonder, as cliched as that may be. Nothing really important besides that-my generally boring thoughts are on the other page, right here.

so it's friday, 8 pm, and i'm sittin here in my room. i really don't care. Will left for the nite (i think), so at least i have some alone time. Josh might come over later to watch fight club, so that's alright. Nothing incredibly important happened today. Yesterday me and josh went to jenison to pick up our tickets, and we found out that there were more orders than tickets, so there was a lottery. I won, while josh didn't- figures, since everythin in his life has been going shitty. i felt really bad. But it all worked out- I spent the night over at josh and casey's, and we woke up around 8 am and went to jenison, hoping to get any leftover tickets. At first it didn't seem too hopeful. The line was really long, but josh ended up getting a ticket, although we're a section apart. We can figure somethin out to sit together.

Liza text messaged me today, and told me she got the photos. I was happy, they came a day early. I'm glad she has them now, because she'll remember me a bit better than without them. I just think about how i'm a lucky guy- i look around me and see guys that remind me of the high school me, and i feel bad about it. But i know what they're going through, and hopefully it'll get as good as i am right now.

I'm gonna go sit down and watch Gangs of New York now, but if anything special happens, i'll update you...

one week later, and nothing really special has happened. Me and liza are still going out, even though we can't really "go out" when we're so far apart. But it's alright, it makes Christmas that much more enjoyable and I'm counting down the days. I think of her a lot during the day; it's hard not to. I wish she was here, because the time she was here was the happiest I'd probably ever been.

Classes are going ok, i mean, they're classes- they're gonna suck. I've been feeling really tired lately, and there's really only one reason: Will's snoring. It's incredibly loud and keeps me up at nite, and worst of all, i don't know how to tell him. Any suggestions, im me or somethin. I need help.

I guess that Michelle's friend Jamie likes me- I was talkin to andrea today and she told me this. I met jamie when i was eating with andrea on monday, i think it was. She was really nice, cute too, but I'm with Liza. That's as far as it's gonna go. But it's nice to know that I am wanted. I really don't get how I went all of high school without so much a glance from girls, but when i come here, it's completely different. It's really flattering actually, cuz i don't think i'm anything special. I mean, there are a lot more better looking guys here than me, and i mean that in the most non-gay way possible. I'm secure in saying it, so what?

I really have to start working out again. I haven't noticed how much of a slob i'm getting to be. I'm gonna start eating healthy again, as much as i can. I'm gonna start running tomorrow, for sure. I only have ATL tomorrow, so i can't blame it on a busy schedule. I'm gonna go brush my teeth and turn in for the nite. Sweet Dreams...

well, a lot has happened since last wednesday. here goes.

liza came on thursday. I went to atl, where i thought about her the whole time. i came back to my room, cleaned up a bit, took a shower, changed, and went downstairs to meet her. i was a little nervouse, but felt eerily comfortable for the most part. I walked down the stairs and instantly saw her, and never before had i felt so happy. If it weren't for grace, i would've kissed liza right there, but for some reason, i felt pretty shy.

we went up to my room, just hung out, talked for a little while. I really wish i would've taken the first step and just kissed her immediately, but i didn't want to offend her by coming on too strong. Instead, we sat down, watched tv for a bit; josh came over and me and him went over to jenison to hand in our ticket order forms, and then he hung around for a bit and worked on his math excel project. Part of me is glad he was there, because otherwise there would have been more than a few awkward silences. After he left, liza and i went to wendy's [oh yeah, great first date dinner, justin- way to go] and then walked back, just in time to watch friends, scrubs, and will and grace. around 9, dad called, and it was the weirdest thing- he didn't know liza was sitting there next to me. She was turned on by it too, and she put her arm on my stomach. That pretty much started it all. After i hung up, we got a little closer, but stayed that way til like 11, when the daily show came on. "when were you gonna kiss me?" she asked. I immediately said, "now, but i didn't want to offend you before." so we kissed. I'll admit it, i was new to the whole kissing thing, so it was a bit awkward at first, especially the french kissing. i really liked it though. i think we made out for at least a good half hour, and then we moved on to other stuff. i'll leave that to your imagination ;^). i'm getting really tired now, but i'll talk about the rest of the weekend tomorrow. peace. and liza, i miss you....

ok so Year Of The Freshman is my journal intended for general audiences. This journal is a no holds barred look at my life and what i'm thinking.

Anyway, not too much has happened since last thursday. i went home for the weekend, had a DCX/MSU extern program thing to go to, and then came back on sunday only to see the lions lose yet another heartbreaker. on the plus side, both my fantasty teams won.

The biggie happened sunday night actually. When i created the new page, i copied the chat box from this page. That had some stuff I didn't want read, so i just imitated a convo between josh and casey with casey saying he was gay. Looking back on it, i realize it was incredibly immature of me. Casey saw it, and shot back with several racist/derogatory remarks involving terrorism, osama, and saddam. I had never felt so hurt in my life. I actually had tears in my eyes. Around midnite, casey im'ed me and apologized, and i apologized too. I think we're alright now, but i won't forget it that easily.

Today was a great day. My math test was easy, i got a 20/20 on my atl rough draft, and will's friend gave me 30 bucks for breaking my 4 dollar mirror. Not bad at all. I had dinner with josh, casey, andrea, and michelle, which was fun. Some of the things we talk about are so off the wall it's funny in itself. I caught michelle just kinda staring at me every once in a while, but i'm sure it's nothing. She's really cute, but casey likes her, so i won't do anything to hurt his chances, not that i could anyway.

i've got chem, math, and chem lab tomorrow, so i better shove off to sleep. God knows every minute counts when your roommate is a heavy snorer and you're a light sleeper. Damn.

Please forgive me, I know not what I do
Please forgive me, I can't stop loving you
Don't deny me, this pain I'm going through
Please forgive me, if I need you like I do
Please believe me (Oh believe it), every word I say is true
Please forgive me, I can't stop loving you
-Bryan Adams