Feeling:i wish i knew
Song:off the corner~sisqo
hmm, well i think this journal is just gonna be about me and liza now, and my regular boring old life will be at livejournal.
i went out saturday and bought a 500 minute phone card, thinking that would be plenty for more than a few calls. wrong-o. i called liza last nite and it turns out i only get 166 minutes to canada. it's 5 cents/min better than calling from my cell and dealing with the bill there, so i guess it's alright. we talked for about 2 hours, just the regular stuff i guess. mainly we talked about relationships with other people- she asked me if i had met any other girls, and i said yes, but really only online through that stupid allmsu dating profile thing. she said she was alright with it, no reason she shouldn't be, we're not together anymore in the sense of the word. i asked her if she had met any other guys, and she said she didn't want to say. How the hell am i supposed to take that? I mean, immediately i get suspicious/worried that she's hiding something from me. she says she doesn't want to worry me, so she wouldn't tell me. if anything, that would worry me more and show me that she really doesn't think that much of me if she can't tell me the truth. that's how i take it. maybe it's just me. she finally said nothing's happened, but it makes me wonder why she didn't say that first and spare me all the grief
yeah, i still think about her everyday. for a little while during february, i didn't think about her as much, but then it came back in march, when i realized what a good thing i had with her. i think the reason she doesn't worry/care about losing me is because she knows/thinks she can probably do better than some hopeless romantic/far away guy. the reason i worry is because i know that there are a lot of guys in montreal, probably with a lot more potential than me, and i don't like thinking of it like that, but i can't help it. sometimes i feel confident, other times i feel completely lower than dirt.
i hope something works out between the two of us, because right now i can't even hang out with another girl without thinking of her. there's too many things around to remind me: her pictures, the necklace, spike, the silly rabbit cereal bowl, the boxers, sarah mclachlan songs, "my immortal," the damn futon, the text messages that part of me just refuses to delete, the phone cards lying around the desk, countless other things. damn it.
Song:off the corner~sisqo
hmm, well i think this journal is just gonna be about me and liza now, and my regular boring old life will be at livejournal.
i went out saturday and bought a 500 minute phone card, thinking that would be plenty for more than a few calls. wrong-o. i called liza last nite and it turns out i only get 166 minutes to canada. it's 5 cents/min better than calling from my cell and dealing with the bill there, so i guess it's alright. we talked for about 2 hours, just the regular stuff i guess. mainly we talked about relationships with other people- she asked me if i had met any other girls, and i said yes, but really only online through that stupid allmsu dating profile thing. she said she was alright with it, no reason she shouldn't be, we're not together anymore in the sense of the word. i asked her if she had met any other guys, and she said she didn't want to say. How the hell am i supposed to take that? I mean, immediately i get suspicious/worried that she's hiding something from me. she says she doesn't want to worry me, so she wouldn't tell me. if anything, that would worry me more and show me that she really doesn't think that much of me if she can't tell me the truth. that's how i take it. maybe it's just me. she finally said nothing's happened, but it makes me wonder why she didn't say that first and spare me all the grief
yeah, i still think about her everyday. for a little while during february, i didn't think about her as much, but then it came back in march, when i realized what a good thing i had with her. i think the reason she doesn't worry/care about losing me is because she knows/thinks she can probably do better than some hopeless romantic/far away guy. the reason i worry is because i know that there are a lot of guys in montreal, probably with a lot more potential than me, and i don't like thinking of it like that, but i can't help it. sometimes i feel confident, other times i feel completely lower than dirt.
i hope something works out between the two of us, because right now i can't even hang out with another girl without thinking of her. there's too many things around to remind me: her pictures, the necklace, spike, the silly rabbit cereal bowl, the boxers, sarah mclachlan songs, "my immortal," the damn futon, the text messages that part of me just refuses to delete, the phone cards lying around the desk, countless other things. damn it.
