yeah, i know

ok i just realized something- all this frustration couldn't possibly be from tonite, from liza calling me a drama queen, there's gotta be more. i think it's mostly my parents trying to shut me down and keep me their little boy forever. my mom keeps telling me to study, work hard, and pray, so often that it's making no sense to me anymore. dad doesn't want me to have anything to do with girls right now, period. i cant believe that. and there's yet another issue. my dad and i will never have the relationship that other sons have with their fathers. playing baseball, talking about girls, working with each other, just talking. i can't remember the last time my dad and i actually talked heart to heart, it's always been him scolding me if anything.

of course, i'm lucky to have a father, and i know a lot of people are much worse off than me, but i haven't experienced that so this is my worst. i just wish me and him had a more regular relationship than we do now.