Feeling:mad/depressed/bothered
Song:losing my religion~R.E.M
wow, one month later. quite a bit has happened, and i wish i could say it was for the better, but honestly, i really don't know. Liza got a new home calling plan that lets her make unlimited calls to North America, which means i get to talk to her more often. Always a plus. but at the same time, talking more often means having less to talk about, and lately i've just been in kind of a bad mood for more than a few reasons:
1) not hearing "i love you" - stupid, maybe. i very well may be just a little girl, but hearing liza say those 3 little words, at any time, just makes my day, week, month, that much better. but lately it's been me just saying i love you, and her either saying something like "you don't mean it" or just ignoring it. maybe it's just my stupid insecurities that make me feel like she's slipping through my fingers, and that i might lose her. if she had any idea how much she meant to me, how very very often i thought i about her, she would either be scared to talk to me again, or realize how important she is. lately, every nite we've ended our phone conversations it's just been a cordial "good night, talk to you soon." and then when i hang up the phone, i scream inside because i really wanted to say "i love you. i love you with all my heart and i can't imagine life without you."
2) i rolled my ankle really bad yesterday playing football. and it just so happens that it's getting really nice outside, and i was going to be working out at the track for the next few days, and now i can't. it's swollen to more than the size of a golf ball. i need to get a brace. it really shouldn't put me in that bad a mood, but for some reason it has. i guess it's just the fact that it adds to everything else that has happened.
3) the end of the semester is coming up, and i'm getting worried about what my gpa is going to be. I hate ISS 210 with a passion, it's a terrible class and even worse, the grade is based on 2 tests and a final, and i got a 74 on the first test, which translates to a 2.0. dammit.
4) this one doesn't have anything to do with me, but it still bothers me, and..well i guess it does have to do with me. kyle told andy the other day that he never thought of andy as a friend. i think it hurt me more than andy that he said that. what a bastard. and honestly, i'm debating whether or not i was ever a fan of kyle's. he's said some pretty bad stuff about me, and he always seems to be bitter whenever me, josh, or andy encounter whatever little good fortune comes our way. if he was really a friend he'd be happy for us and not disappointed.
5) oh, and i'm sick. i have a runny nose, cough, scratchy throat, and for some reason my face is breaking out in a couple spots again. stress? maybe. liza? probably. Thank God it's only the most gorgeous outside it's been in a long while, and i fee like total shit now. just wonderful.
that's all i can think of right now.
Song:losing my religion~R.E.M
wow, one month later. quite a bit has happened, and i wish i could say it was for the better, but honestly, i really don't know. Liza got a new home calling plan that lets her make unlimited calls to North America, which means i get to talk to her more often. Always a plus. but at the same time, talking more often means having less to talk about, and lately i've just been in kind of a bad mood for more than a few reasons:
1) not hearing "i love you" - stupid, maybe. i very well may be just a little girl, but hearing liza say those 3 little words, at any time, just makes my day, week, month, that much better. but lately it's been me just saying i love you, and her either saying something like "you don't mean it" or just ignoring it. maybe it's just my stupid insecurities that make me feel like she's slipping through my fingers, and that i might lose her. if she had any idea how much she meant to me, how very very often i thought i about her, she would either be scared to talk to me again, or realize how important she is. lately, every nite we've ended our phone conversations it's just been a cordial "good night, talk to you soon." and then when i hang up the phone, i scream inside because i really wanted to say "i love you. i love you with all my heart and i can't imagine life without you."
2) i rolled my ankle really bad yesterday playing football. and it just so happens that it's getting really nice outside, and i was going to be working out at the track for the next few days, and now i can't. it's swollen to more than the size of a golf ball. i need to get a brace. it really shouldn't put me in that bad a mood, but for some reason it has. i guess it's just the fact that it adds to everything else that has happened.
3) the end of the semester is coming up, and i'm getting worried about what my gpa is going to be. I hate ISS 210 with a passion, it's a terrible class and even worse, the grade is based on 2 tests and a final, and i got a 74 on the first test, which translates to a 2.0. dammit.
4) this one doesn't have anything to do with me, but it still bothers me, and..well i guess it does have to do with me. kyle told andy the other day that he never thought of andy as a friend. i think it hurt me more than andy that he said that. what a bastard. and honestly, i'm debating whether or not i was ever a fan of kyle's. he's said some pretty bad stuff about me, and he always seems to be bitter whenever me, josh, or andy encounter whatever little good fortune comes our way. if he was really a friend he'd be happy for us and not disappointed.
5) oh, and i'm sick. i have a runny nose, cough, scratchy throat, and for some reason my face is breaking out in a couple spots again. stress? maybe. liza? probably. Thank God it's only the most gorgeous outside it's been in a long while, and i fee like total shit now. just wonderful.
that's all i can think of right now.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home